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Busted for Speeding (A Shaggy Puppy)
This shaggy tale was posted on the groaners listserv.
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license, please?
Woman: I'd give it to you, but, I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it four times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk, if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle, please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands a license to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you, ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: HMPHH! I bet the lying bastard also told you I was speeding!
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