Latest Feghoots

Archived Feghoots
1 - 50
51 - 100
101 - 150
151 - 200
201 - 250
251 - 300
301 - 350
351 - 400
401 - 450
451 - 500
501 - 550
551 - 600
601 - 650
651 - 700
701 - 750
751 - 800
801 - 850
851 - 900
901 - 950
951 - 1000
1001 - 1050
1051 - 1100
1101 - 1150
1151 - 1200
1201 - 1250
1251 - 1300
1301 - 1350
1351 - 1400
1401 - 1450
1451 - 1500
1501 - 1550
1551 - 1600
1601 - 1650
1651 - 1700
1701 - 1750
1751 - 1800
1801 - 1851
1851 - 1900
1901 - 1950
1951 - 2000
2001 - 2050

Shaggy Origins

What's New

Site FAQ

Texas Medley

Thanks to Bill Pardue for sending this.

A TEXAS BLESSING

Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!

-Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
-Please keep it cool in mid-July.

-Bless the walls where termites dine,
-While ants and roaches march in time.

-Bless our yard where spiders pass
-Fire ant castles in the grass.

-Bless the garage, a home to please
-Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

-Bless the love bugs, two by two,
-the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

-Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
-in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all.

-But this is home, and here we'll stay,

-So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .

-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

-The trees are whistling for the dogs.

-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

-Hot water now comes out of both taps. -You can make sun tea i nstantly.

-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

-The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home. God Bless Our State of Texas!!

Served by Austin Web Publishing, Inc.

Sponsored by search engine marketing firm Apogee Search, providers of world class paid search advertising management and search engine optimization services. Apogee Search is a division of internet marketing firm Leads Customers Growth.

Designed and maintained by Brian Combs (info@briancombs.net).