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For All The Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

Stan Kegel posted this on the PUNY listserve. There are several new once in this collection.


  1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

  2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

  3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  4. A backward poet writes inverse.

  5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.

  6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

  7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

  8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

  9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blown apart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.


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