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Shaggy Origins

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Abraham and How It All Began (An Original-Style Shaggy Dog)

This was posted by John W. Vinson, aka John the Wysard on alt.callahans. Bob Levi sent us a very similar version.

An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walks up to a stone pulpit and says...

And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town with thy goods, when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddlebags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivered by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)".

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he could have his way with her.

And Dot said, "There will be a lot of banging in the land".

And Abraham replied, "It is my most fervent wish that this be so."

So the drums rang out and were an immediate success.

Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But his success did arouse envy.

A man named Maccabia even secreted himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading.

And the young people did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land.

And, indeed, he did insist on making drums that would only work if you bought Brother Gates' drumsticks.

Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others".

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel (or, as it came to be known, "eBay"), he said, "We need a name for a service that reflects what we are".

Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner-Operators".

"Whoopee!" said Abraham.

"No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com.

And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.

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