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A Perfect Defense (Adult Theme Shaggy Dog)
This is nearly the perfect tale for one of my favorite holidays. Mel Lett sent it to me.
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: On the first day of April last year, will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, because his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And THAT'S when I shot the bastard!"
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